Wednesday, June 22

Anxious

anx·ious

–adjective
1. full of mental distress or uneasiness because of fear of danger or misfortune; greatly worried; solicitous.
2.  earnestly desirous; eager
3.  attended with or showing solicitude or uneasiness
People lately have been asking me how I'm feel about moving.  I think it can all be summed up in one word.  It's the first thing that comes to my mind... I am ANXIOUS.
1. I am full of mental distress and uneasiness due to the fear of packing up my house, unpacking in a new place, having to leave my Okie friends, trying to make new friends, having the kids make new friends, settling into a new routine, and on and on and on.  I like to hold on to old friends because I feel comfortable with them.  I can be myself.  I know what to expect.  I am worried about having new people get to know me and my quirks and put up with the antics of my cute, but crazy kids.
2.  I am earnestly desirous and eager about the new an unknown our Iowa home holds.  I can't wait to see what kind of changes are coming our way.  In a way, I love love love change.  I like things new and fun and exciting.  Will we love being in a branch vs. a ward?  Will our children thrive and grow to love Iowa like Dennis and I do?  Will they look back at this change as a great thing in their lives?  Will Dennis love his new job as much as we think he will?  Are the kids going to love that they get the opportunity to grow up close to family... grandparents less than an hour away, and tons of cousins as well?
3. I am uneasy about getting our lives in order - getting the girls in school, Andrew in preschool, and getting involved in the community.  I am especially uneasy that my parents are leaving on a two-year mission to Papua New Guinea the day Dennis starts work at his new job.  I won't get to call my mom any time I need to vent or ask for advice or ask about a recipe, or when I just want to tell her the cute things Sarah/Emma/Andrew/Jared just did.  
My life is about to turn up-side down.  I am eager, uneasy, and desirous.  I am ANXIOUS.

7 comments:

a little love affair said...

Oh Jen... So sorry you are feeling like this!! I'm sure anyone would. It's a lot of change all at once. Just know that all of your "Okie" friends will always be just a text/call/email/facebook message away!! The kids will adjust well and you will make a ton of new friends!! Wish you the best!

Jon and Melissa said...

Scary, but oh so exciting. I can't believe your parents are going to New Guinea! Crazy. I will tell you what; you get blessed a lot when your parents or parent-in-law are on a mission. You are such a great friend and will have no problem jumping into your new life. I am having some of those anxieties, and I am moving within the same city. You are super woman.

Ashley Dickman said...

OK, I can still remember to this day the first time I saw you. This young. beautiful. short haired. red-headed. tiny. tall. pregnant woman and I was so excited to meet you and get to know you. Then, when I talked to you for the first time... I knew we would be friends! I remember you said "oh no" a lot and still to this day when you say it... it makes me think of talking to you for the first time! Let me remind you that I have a HORRIBLE memory too- so be impressed! :) I was even more thrilled that our husbands hit it off! You are awesome! You are so talented... from cooking to sewing. You and your kids are always looking your best and so is your home.... who wouldn't want to get to know you... even if it's just curiosity on how the heck you do it all?!!? :) My entire family will surely miss your entire family!!!

I'm sure you will really miss your mom- I can't even begin to imagine. Call me if you want to vent... I'm sure I'll have something to vent right back about on my end! And plus, we always love a good road trip! :)

Katie Jane said...

I am serious. I am your new phone a friend! Whenever you feel like calling your mom just call me! I would love to hear about any cute thing your children have done and I will look up questions about recipes in a second flat. Most of all I just love you and I know that everyone in Iowa is going to love you too. I think you are the best.

Dre said...

All anyone has to do is talk to you for 5 seconds and they want to be a part of your life. You are a strong amazing woman! I know you will make the best out of any situation, because that is how you have always been. Good luck with your new move. Exciting to hear about your parents mission, sad that you won't be able to call your mom at the drop of a hat. You are great!

suds2004 said...

Oh friend, hang on tight. I am sure you are in for a ride. Moving to a new place, as you know, does make one anxious. We have been here 6 weeks and although we do love it I am still waiting for it to feel like home. Good Luck, call me anytime.

geeno said...

oh man jen - what a good post! what a crazy spot to be in - i hope all the answers to those questions are unravelling well.